From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
Highway to Heaven
Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there
was a limousine there to transport him to his home.
As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.
"You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for
a while?"
The driver said, "No problem. Have at it."
Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway.
A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap.
The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone.
The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and he got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.
The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to
see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.
The supervisor asked, "Is it the Governor?"
The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."
The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the President."
The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."
The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"
The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!"

From  
www.surfersam.com   Funny Stories
LIMOUSINE ON IT'S BELLY...       
San Francisco is famous for the trams, private residences of celebrities and a smart landscape with abrupt
differences of heights. On one hand it makes this city unique. But on another … the Longest stretch on the
basis of Ford Excursion SUV silently-peacefully carried the cheerful wedding party to a banquet... - things
like that are better left unsaid. And, on one of excesses... Ops!
Find out about the cat
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides.
During one trip, the driver drooped her at a mall before going to the gas station. The cat remained in the car, laying down on the top of the limousine's back seat.
The service station's attendant often glanced at unusual passenger. Finally, he asked: "Sir, is that cat someone important?"
From  
www.ahajokes.com
Surprise bachelor (ette) party!..
This story is real and was to told to me by one of my friend limo driver. Once he got to take 10 girls to a bachelor (ette) party. One girl came to him before they left and said: "
Listen, if we will get a little loud and wild, do not worry. If there any problems I will take care of them - I am a cop." And she showed the badge to prove it. So, down the road
they really got wild, loud and were drawing lots of attention. And eventually they were stopped by police patrol.  2 officers came to that driver and asked him if he was aware
of what was going on in the back of his limousine. He said: "Yes, Sir! One of these ladies is a police officer too and she is in control of everything!" So two officers got really
curios who is the cop in there... They came to the back of the limousine; window rolled down and... All 10 pulled their badges out pulled their badges out!
EXTRA INCOME
This tale is old and famous and was told many times between drivers.
One cab driver invented a new way to get extra income. When he would pick-up a tourists who barely
speaks English at O'Hare airport in Chicago he would get on Tristate expressway. And there is a toll
plaza. Passenger would see a booth and a gate and get curios what is this. Then cab driver would
say: " Excuse me, Sir. We are about to cross an American border and you must have a special pass.
Do you have it?" Of course passenger would get nervous because he never heard of anything like that
and did not have "a special pass". Then cab driver would say : "Well, OK I have a solution. If you pay
me $100.00  I will get you through. Just lay down in the back seat and cover yourself with this blanket
(and he would pull out a blanket ready) and be quiet. I will let you know when we will pass it"... :)
Copyright © 2013 Caprice Limousine Service Inc.
All rights reserved.
I love Indianapolis
One of my passengers told me this story happened to him and a cab driver. Once he arrived at O'Hare airport coming from
Indianapolis, IN. He got a cab to go to his home in one of Chicago northern suburbs. He was so tired so he told driver his
address and felt asleep... When he woke up it was already dark and they were still riding. He asked the cab driver what was
going on and where they are... But next moment he saw a sign on the road - " 15 miles to Indianapolis "...
So when this passenger got into my limousine he said: " I hope you speak English well and know how to get to my home. Please
don't take me back to Indianapolis, I just came from there again and now I want to go home!
He was too hungry!
This story is real and was told to me by one driver I used to work with.
was driving and thinking what is he going to make for a dinner... And instead of taking a way to passenger's
was driving and thinking what is he going to make for a dinner... And instead of taking a way to passenger's
home he went to his own house. He parked his car on his drive way, went inside and started preparing his
dinner. Suddenly he remembered that he still has a passenger inside his limousine. He ran outside,
opened the door and saw his passenger sleeping soundly. So he started his car again and drove to
passenger's address, then woke him up and told him like nothing happened: " Sir, you are home!"   
passenger's address, then woke him up and told him like nothing happened: " Sir, you are home!"   
Shared ride
Another true story happened to me and one of my passengers. I guess this gentlemen learned not to use shared ride service
forever!
It was a busy Friday evening - around 5:00PM ( afternoon rush hour). Dispatcher sent me downstairs to the terminal to pick-up 2
suburbs and pretty close to each other. So there was no problem. Once I got them in my car, dispatcher told me to hold there
suburbs and pretty close to each other. So there was no problem. Once I got them in my car, dispatcher told me to hold there
because I will have one more passenger. 10 minutes later I got one more lady going to Waukegan, IL - still not too bad, it is also
close to those suburbs. And again my dispatcher told me to hold on. I had a Lincoln town car - 4th passenger had to sit in front
seat. When my 4th passenger saw 3 ladies in the car he asked me if he is going to be first to go home, but he lived in
Wadsworth, IL and had to be the last one. He was MAD! But tried very hard do not show it to us. So we got on expressway and
parked there in horrible traffic. It took us almost 2 hours to get to first address, then another 30 minutes to another address and
so on. Finally that gentlemen got home - in 4 hours and saved $ 10.00  so on.
L i m o u s i n e    S e r v i c e    I n c.
SAVING ENERGY
Passenger was riding in the cab and noticed that the driver was periodically turning head lights OFF and then putting it On again little later. It was already dark outside, so
passenger was concerned what was going on. So she asked the cab driver why is he turning his head lights OFF? Driver said : " Saving my ENERGY!"